The Quest For 3rd Degree Burn Doritos
In my previous reviews of Doritos 1st and 2nd Degree Burn, I lamented the fact that there was no 3rd Degree Burn to be found. 2nd Degree Burn, Buffalo Wing flavored Doritos, had a heat that increased exponentially with each chip until you were clamoring for something, anything, wet and diffuse the blaze. These 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin’ Habanero Doritos, if there were such thing, truly had to be something special.
The buzz was that they were discontinued and were no longer on store shelves. The window of opportunity had passed and my review would forever be incomplete. Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips wasabi flavored Doritos were a suitable replacement given the circumstances, but still, there was no way in hell could live with this result. I searched gas stations, grocery stores, and convenience stores all over the city to find the elusive 3rd Degree Burn Doritos. All I could ever find were the normal Nacho Cheese, Cool Ranch, and 1st and 2nd Degree Burn Doritos.
Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips: The Review
Here’s an addendum to the synergistic explosion of flavor experiment that I conducted a few months ago between Doritos and Pepsi Max: Cease Fire. I was recently putting together a purchase at an online Japanese retailer when I discovered wasabi flavored Doritos on the site. Of course this snack would be added to my purchase, if for no other reason than to continue my Doritos experiments. However, I didn’t realize how outrageous shipping costs are when you order a bunch of shit from Japan. I needed time to rethink my order. Did I really need an ear cleaning scoop with a mini origami bird hanging from the tip? Well, yes I do actually. What about that microwave potato chip maker? Yup, that stays. The badass Starscream figure? Mine! I’m such a nerd. I could find most of the Japanese snacks at Epcot, though. Wasabi Doritos, along with the other Japanese snacks, would have to wait.
On the way up to Atlanta, Georgia last week, we stopped at a 7-11 for some snacks and gas. In the store, my eyes were immediately drawn to a lime green bag of Doritos called Mr. Dragon’s Fire Chips. Out of reflex, my arm snatched two bags for the 8 hour trek. It wasn’t until I gave the bags a second glance at the checkout counter that it dawned on me just what kind of treasure I had stumbled upon. These were Wasabi Doritos! Here! In America! Without the ludicrous shipping charge!
Cease Fire: The Review
Confession from a former soda fiend: at the height of my addiction, I’d slam roughly the equivalent of 6-8 cans per day—sometimes more. Sometimes a lot more. Last summer I finally managed to kick the habit and now I’ll have just one in the morning if I can’t snap out of my post-coming-into-work-at-6AM-induced coma. For those scoring at home, I don’t count Monster Energy Drinks as soda. Sweet Nectar of the Gods!
Although I have reduced my soda intake to sub-cancerous levels, I do enjoy delving into new soda flavors whenever they are released. I was grocery shopping last week and came across a display for a new flavor of Pepsi Max: Cease Fire. The label on the Cease Fire bottle encouraged me to combine this hallowed new elixir with a potent, spicy variety of Doritos for a hot-cold synergistic explosion of flavor. They also included a coupon that gave me the soda for free if I bought a bag of Doritos, which sealed the deal.