Netflix Randomness: Twelve and Holding
I am a passionate fan of 80's kids’ movies. Goonies, Stand By Me, Explorers, Space Camp, Monster Squad, Cloak and Dagger, Labyrinth, and several others occupy coveted slots on my all-time list. While I enjoyed recent kids’ movies such as Harry Potter, Super 8, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid, they never captured the magic of those older films.
Is it just me? There's a certain hollowness in the modern kid flick. Something missing. The movies follow all the formulas. However, like recreating your grandparents' heirloom recipes, an intangible quality is always missing. Is it the uber slickness that comes with an astronomical major motion picture budget? The high def, count-the-zits image quality? The computer generated effects? I really don’t know the cause. But the result is the notably absent charm that once oozed from the movies of my childhood.
"They just don't make movies like they used to.” Nooooooo! Am I becoming Granddad? If for nothing else, I search for the illusive, magical, modern kid flick to stave off my inevitable transformation into a jaded, grumpy old man. Netflix's insidious AI is well aware of my quest. And it is always happy to guide me through the harrowing wilderness of its immense catalog towards possible holy grails.
This morning I was distracted by a little, 2005 independent film called Twelve and Holding. Yep, fucking Netflix debo'd my free-time once again. Curses. Twelve and Holding, however, was just good enough—just awkward and quirky enough—to compel me to throw it out there: Is this the Great White Buffalo?
Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Phoebe Cates
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2—Phoebe Cates (Gremlins, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Drop Dead Fred): I am incredibly tempted to lie and say that this is all because of the infamous, bikini-dropping, pool scene in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. It certainly makes for more titillating fare. Unfortunately, I’m a terrible liar. Here’s a confession: I never saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High until I got the DVD my junior year in college. Had I seen that movie at some point as a kid, I am confident that this Biggest Childhood Crushes List would have Phoebe Cates at #1. Not only does it have the scene mentioned, but she is completely at her hottest throughout the entire film. Phoebe Cates was never my #1 crush as a child whereas many already mentioned on this list were at some point. However, she was #2 for most of my childhood. “The girl from the Gremlins” was the ace in my sleeve for my friends’ debates of hot chicks. It’s only fitting that she’s #2 here.
Outside of Annie (1982) and Superman III (1983), one of my earliest memories of going to a movie theater was seeing Gremlins in 1984. I remember wanting nothing more than my own personal Gizmo to water and feed KFC to after midnight. As a 6 year old, Gizmo was my primary focus, but I was entranced every time Kate, played by Phoebe Cates, showed up on screen. I had the tape after it came out on VHS, but the movie creeped me out for a few years. Still I braved the inevitable nightmares of Stripe eating me for two reasons: to imagine finding my own pet mogwai and to eagerly watch for the lovely Phoebe Cates to pop up on the screen.
Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Paula Abdul
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7—Paula Abdul (pop star): When Paula Abdul appeared on my MTV in the late 80’s, I thought she was crazy hot, but I didn’t develop a crush until later on. One day, some of my buddies and I were at my house swimming in the pool and shooting the shit about hot singers. I probably threw out names like Debbie Gibson, Gloria Estefan, and some random chick from The Jets or The Bangles, but I really had no go-to singer in my arsenal for such debates. My suggestions were laughed at, derided, and rejected outright. They saw my Debbie Gibson and raised me a Paula Abdul. The word from my boys was that Paula was the hottest woman on the planet. Ever! I gave it some thought, bowed to the peer pressure, and readily accepted their logic. That short-lived debate was all it took. I saw the "Opposites Attract" video later that day in a whole new light. My crush on her went, uh, Straight Up! Lame pun. Horrible attempt, I know. I know. I’m not gifted in the art of Punry, but I had to try.