First off, Zia unsuccessfully attempted to convince Bobby to write her bio. After all, requiring a bio was his idea. After two thwarted attempts, Zia scribbled out this nonsense for you lovely perusers.

After beginning, Zia discovered that writing in the third person is a mildly entertaining exercise. Zia highly recommends the practice to anyone willing to read this far into an author bio on zenestex.com. The practice evokes a feeling of a narrator (with a British accent) woefully spinning the tale of the author before you. Please keep the narrator's tone in mind if you bother reading further.

In the simple college days of yesteryear, Zia was a joyful and bouncy little ferret. Not the dumb kind that you see on television making some bird sound, but a real and true ferret.

Zia's lifelong ambitions consisted primarily of playing, pooping, and eating. Her sheer exuberance rivaled that of Pikachu. Come-on, you remember the yellow Pokemon. Admit it. Her sweet and spunky attitude inspires the writings in her name.