Although Tuesday mornings are always shitty, I was having an exceptionally shittier than shitty Tuesday morning when I walked into work yesterday. Todd hit me up the moment I settled into my desk. He beamed a grin that could only mean one thing: the Cobra Commander Staff was complete.
Todd rushed me and a small entourage of curious onlookers out to his car to make the big reveal. The staff was carefully packed into his car, wrapped in a protective blanket. I couldn’t make out any details other than the general size of the staff. This was better than Christmas morning.
Todd ripped off the rubber bands binding the blanket around the staff. Then, slowly, he lifted the blanket away from the staff revealing a golden snake tail that wrapped around the bottom and melded into the rod. I mouthed the word “incredible,” but I was unsure and unconcerned about whether the sound that emanated from my throat was an intelligible word or a guttural caveman grunt.
Todd continued the dramatic presentation, deliberately revealing every inch of the Cobra Commander Staff. Finally, he arrived at the hooded, King Cobra head of the staff. Hundreds of scales textured the Wikipedia accurate cobra head. It even had a pair of menacing, black eye inserts. This was a staff worthy of Cobra’s supreme leader. Nothing could wipe the smile off my face. All nagging thoughts of the dreadful commute were instantly and permanently erased from existence.
After victory parading Todd’s masterpiece through the office, we went outside to take some pictures. I sent a few to my wife. Her response: “Wow! I want his powers.”
I use the word awesome to describe a lot of things. Using it here would just force me to compare everything that I'd normally think was awesome to this staff whenever I wanted to use the word. Well, I like that word and don’t want to lose it. So, I refuse to call this staff awesome. Because it’s so much more than awesome.
This is truly remarkable work. I’m forever in Todd’s debt and will pimp the shit out of his skills at DragonCon and anywhere else I take this Cobra Commander costume. That man needs to get into the prop-making business. Todd, a billion times, thank you!