Zenestex
14Jan/116

Netflix Randomness: Night of the Demons

Recently, a strange game evolved from a combination of Netflix’s Instant Watch and my own comatose state of couch-potato boredom. I call it Netflix Randomness. Not that this game is at all random—the name just rolls off the tongue a little easier than Solitaire Movie-Geek Chicken.

Here are the rules to Netflix Randomness. You browse the Instant Watch listings until you find something that grabs your attention. It can be anything. The swerve is that this movie (or television show) must be one that you have never seen, never heard of, and would never watch under any other circumstance. Beyond that, every title is fair game. Once you have located a suitable target, the game is set and you’re in for the duration. And before you probe for loopholes, you have to pause the movie when you leave the room and you cannot play on your cell phone or laptop during the movie. Choose wisely.

This is all merely how I internally justify wasting hours of potential productivity by vegging in front of Netflix. The next evolution of this game will have to include stakes because there’s just not much incentive to sit through a real turd other than groaning about it on the internet.

6Jan/1114

USF Eats Poop

For South Florida Bulls fans who know me, much of this post will be a review. But somehow I just never tire of driving these points home. USF fans are like my dog: quick to forget training lessons and they eat poop. It’s true. And not a light tongue flick, either. We’re talking 2 Girls, 1 Cup-style bathing in the steaming goop like it’s coming from Heaven’s own chocolate soft serve dispenser. With the 2010 college football season coming to a close, I would be remiss if I didn’t document my ever-growing hatred for the commuter college up the street.

The University of South Florida is a massive fucking school with like a million-billion students on a sparse campus, devoid of any character, notable landmarks, or adequate parking. Even with the vast swaths of empty grass fields, USF still has no football stadium of their own and resorts to thieving the Buccaneers’ stadium every Saturday. Opposing fans must wonder what that big pirate ship in the endzone has to do with cattle. Oh wait, that’s the real football team that plays here. USF is just the opening act.

4Jan/1113

The Gifts of Christmas 2010

This past Christmas was one of the best ever for gifts. I know, I know, it’s not
about the loot. Christmas is about family, friends, love, giving and gorging on
all the turkey, ham, stuffing, casseroles, pies, candies, cookies and popcorn tins.
Agreed. But I also love all the gifts.I think I like giving gifts more than receiving. Scouring the Toys R Us
aisles for the perfect gifts to give kids (and adults) is one of my favorite and
most cherished parts of Christmas. But damn if I don’t still love receiving heaping
piles of awesomeness as well.