Back From Paradise

Sorry for the lack of posts over the past couple of weeks. I was on vacation last
week at my home-away-from-home, Captiva Island. Since then I have been fighting
a nasty case of Post Vacation Laziness Disorder. Captiva Island is a quiet little
island off the coast of Ft. Myers, Florida. We were trapped under Tropical Depression
#5 for a majority of the time, so all there was to do was shop, eat like pigs, and
drink ourselves stupid. I was cool with that. On our last day there, the weather
finally cleared up and there were some awesome waves on the normally tranquil beach.
My drunk ass waddled out there, got tossed all over the place, and carried a few
hundred yards down the beach by the current. After about 15 minutes, I gave up my futile attempt to
swim. Even sober I had no shot against those waves without a board, but it was still
crazy fun to play in.

I have a ton of sunny pics with white sand and blue water, but those are no fun.
These are the waves left behind from the tropical depression. This picture really
doesn’t do justice to how big these things were, especially for the west coast of

Other than that, we went to the coolest antique store in the world on Sanibel Island.
I have about 200 photos to go through before I can write anything about that. If
you’re ever in the Ft. Myers area and love random stuff from the 1980’s and earlier,
then you have to make a pilgrimage to this Mecca of nostalgia.

More to come from this amazing little store.

We also hit Chocolate Expressions, a great candy store that featured chocolate covered
EVERYTHING. We bought a box filled with delights such as chocolate covered
potato chips, chocolate covered orange peels (similar to what I
wrote about before
), and the worst tasting shit that has ever touched my
tongue: chocolate covered ginger. It tastes exactly how it sounds except that candied
ginger is a hundred times more potent than normal ginger. The flavor is so strong that it scratches
at the back of your throat like you're trying to eat a live rat, V style.
The candy also wields an evil superpower: it fuses the awful sugared ginger flavor
to your mouth for all eternity. Nothing gets rid of it.

A box of chocolates. On top you see the chocolate covered Ruffles. Hidden in the
depths of the box lurks chocolate covered ginger.

Chocolate covered ginger is poison. Eating that candy may have ruined ginger for
me forever. I tried to eat sushi the other day and a few pieces had ginger in them.
As I ate them, a feeling grew in the pit of my stomach, a stern warning that the formerly
edible tuber was no longer welcome there.

It’s like rum runners. Back in college, I got really sick off of them.
Before you call me a sissy, the rum runners topped off a night of binge drinking
beer, vodka, rum, and who knows what else. My last memory of that night was grabbing
a blender filled with rum runner and laughing maniacally. I woke up laying in, well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest, but it was definitely rum runner.
Since then, anytime I smell a rum runner, I immediately start gagging as I recall the hangover—a
day filled with puking and wallowing in pure misery. Eating that sushi evoked the fresh
memory of my desperate attempts to rid my mouth of the ginger candy and I had to
stop. I hate you, chocolate covered ginger.

Chocolate covered ginger looks like shit and tastes even worse, so I gave the uneaten
half a fitting execution.

I leave you with a fruity drink from the poolside bar of Tween Waters Inn, our simple
paradise at Captiva Island.

Comments (9) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Wow, that is CRAZY!! We stayed at the Tween Waters Inn for our honeymoon. I loved Captiva and TWI, especially the hottub (of course, that was in January). They also have some good food down there at the Mucky Duck and of course the Bubble Room. We enjoyed going down and hanging out with the glass blowers on Sanibel. I can't imagine what woud possibly come over you that you would even want to TRY chocolate covered ginger.

    • That's the third time I've stayed at Tween Waters and maybe the 10th time I've been to Sanibel-Captiva. I love that place. The Bubble Room is awesome to look at. I almost went there just for the pictures. But the food is meh. We went to the Lazy Flamingo, which I highly recommend. Watching one guy bartend, be a waiter, bus boy, and cashier is quality entertainment. And the food is great.

  2. Welcome Back Cooper! Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'm definitely looking forward to a post about that antique store. Stuff from the 80s, huh? I would've probably spent a bundle in there(well, depending on cost). That drink looks delicious. Is it an alcoholic smoothie?
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  3. The rum runners are awesome and not really meant to be mixed with other drinks. They are enough on there own merit. Glad you had fun though (on the other days). I can't wait to go back there.

  4. That was back in college. You know, where you test your limits. I don't think I even managed to get ice in there. I'm pretty sure I just threw mix and rum in somewhat equal parts into the blender and chugged. I'll never know for sure.

  5. Hey Bobby! When are we gonna get an update? I'm starting to have Zenestex withdrawals! :) Oh! I was watching the Travel Channel the other day, and they showed a brief glimpse of Tween Waters Inn. Pretty much looks the same in your pictures, but you have one up on them. They didn't show ant booze.
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    • I'll have at least one post next week. I knew I hadn't posted in awhile, but I didn't realize that it has been over a month. Yikes!

      What program did you see Tween Waters on? I'd love to see what they had to say about it, but how can they possibly not cover the poolside bar?

  6. Any booze. Although ant booze would be amusing.
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