7—Paula Abdul (pop star): When Paula Abdul appeared on my MTV in the late
80’s, I thought she was crazy hot, but I didn’t develop a crush until later on.
One day, some of my buddies and I were at my house swimming in the pool and shooting
the shit about hot singers. I probably threw out names like Debbie Gibson, Gloria
Estefan, and some random chick from The Jets or The Bangles, but I really had no
go-to singer in my arsenal for such debates. My suggestions were laughed at, derided,
and rejected outright. They saw my Debbie Gibson and raised me a Paula Abdul. The
word from my boys was that Paula was the hottest woman on the planet. Ever! I gave
it some thought, bowed to the peer pressure, and readily accepted their logic. That
short-lived debate was all it took. I saw the "Opposites Attract" video later that
day in a whole new light. My crush on her went, uh, Straight Up! Lame pun. Horrible
attempt, I know. I know. I’m not gifted in the art of Punry, but I had to try.
It was the summer of 1989 and Paula Abdul was everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. Radio,
TV, tabloids, magazines, MTV. She was discovered by the Jackson mafia when she was
both a Laker Girl and the Laker Girls’ head choreographer. The Jacksons hired Paula
and she did the choreography for many of Janet Jackson’s videos in the late 80’s.
Paula also choreographed scenes in several movies of the time. The kick ass piano
scene in Big? Paula did that. Remember any dance scenes from The Running Man
or Karate Kid III? Do you even remember Karate Kid III? Nah, neither
do I. Let’s say I did remember that travesty (I do) and there was a dance sequence
in it (there was), then Paula Abdul had something to do with it. On top of all this,
Paula Abdul eventually eclipsed Janet Jackson in popularity and became a huge pop
On an average summer day in 1989, I occupied my time with constructive activities
such as practicing football by tackling the living room recliner, fighting with
the dogs, prank calling 1-800-Flowers, and playing Nintendo all while having MTV
blaring in the background. When a Paula video popped up on MTV, my whole world came
to a grinding halt. My attention was 100% focused on Paula and that stupid, smoking
cartoon, MC Skat Kat. I’d stare. I’d drool. I’d wish I was the cat. Then, four minutes
later, it was all over and I’d resume my ongoing attempt at a hostile takeover of
1-800-Flowers for 1.4 million dollars.
Think that ring is from Emilio Estevez?
Paula looking amazing as always
I'm pretty sure this sidewyas glance thing is her favorite pose--half her pictures
Where is she now?
Paula Abdul is best known nowadays for her longtime gig as a judge on American Idol.
I love American Idol. Well, most of the time; this season sucked ass the
minute Siobahn Magnus went home. I’m a total Idol fanatic and Paula had absolutely
nothing to do with that. In fact, I felt that she was easily the most annoying judge
until Kara Di-whatever-the-hell showed up. Now that Paula Abdul has been gone for
a full season, I realize just how much. She still looked great! Of course, if you
were a contestant and Paula said that you looked great, then that was Paulanese
for “you suck, you got no future, and you’re gonna get kicked off the show after
tonight’s crap performance.” I’ll just come right out and say it: I miss Paula!
I miss her drunken, barely coherent rants. I miss her alleged affairs with contestants.
I miss her goody-goody niceties when everyone else was throwing daggers. I miss
wondering when she would finally go off the deep end and drop kick Simon off the
judge’s stand. Come back, Paula! I love what ya do when ya do what ya do!
Paula on American Idol
They HAVE to bring back Paula!