Zenestex
27May/106

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Alyssa Milano


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul













4—Alyssa Milano (Who’s the Boss?)
: While the previous two lovely ladies were from
personal favorite television shows and movies, Alyssa Milano starred on the absolutely
horrible 80’s sitcom Who’s the Boss?.
Yes, it’s true; Who’s the Boss? sucked and
had nothing on its chief rival: the vastly superior, cooler, and funnier Growing Pains. Wednesday nights in the late 80’s were couch potato awesomeness with Growing
Pains, Head of the Class,

and Wonder Years. Tuesdays, on the other hand, reeked
of raw suckage with
Who’s the Boss? and Roseanne. I could have been playing Nintendo
games, yet I religiously watched Who’s the Boss? every single week. Why? Because
of Sam.

25May/109

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Tamlyn Tomita


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul












5—Tamlyn Tomita (Karate Kid II): I was, and still am, an avid Karate
Kid

fan. To this day, I sit down and take in a Karate Kid movie every few months. As
a kid, that was more like every few days. To me, these films—especially the first
two—are timeless and never get old. I always had one problem with the first Karate Kid, though. I didn’t get what Daniel saw in “Ali with an i.” Oh sure, Elizabeth
Shue somehow went and became all hot by the mid-90’s (Leaving
Las Vegas
and The Saint. Whoa!), but in the 80’s she was not that great. I never understood why Daniel
would go through all the pain and agony that came with dating Ali. But the movie
was awesome and watching Johnny get crane kicked in the face never got old, so I
turned a blind eye to the fact that I never bought into Ali. Karate Kid, up until
the release of Part II in 1986, was all about the fighting for me. How things would
soon change.

In the mid-80’s, I really into fighting, wrestling, and martial arts—still am. I
took Tae Kwon Do classes because of Karate Kid and The Last Dragon.
My friends and
I re-enacted all the fight scenes from the movies. We played with shurikens and
nunchakus and, by some act of God, never seriously hurt ourselves. The holy grail
of my 3rd and 4th grade existence was a full blown ninja outfit. I begged and pleaded
my case, but my parents knew better than to buy me one. To compensate for our lack
of proper attire, my friends and I used to tie black t-shirts over our faces to
look like ninja masks and go wreak havoc in the neighborhood.

24May/107

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Danica McKellar


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul













6—Danica McKellar (Wonder Years):
It was almost obligatory for every guy my age
to have had a crush on Winnie Cooper. She’s an odd choice. Danica McKellar was hardly
the most gorgeous girl on television at the time. However, as boys similar in age
to Kevin Arnold, we all connected with his plight to win the heart of Winnie Cooper.
It’s simple really: because Kevin had such a huge crush on Winnie, we did, too.
As such, any list naming the biggest crushes a child of the 80’s had simply HAS
to include Winnie Cooper—it’s mandatory. If it’s not already a law, it should be.

I make it sound like this is a throwaway entry; as if I am obliged to have Danica
McKellar on the list. Hardly. I had an enormous crush on her, especially when the
series debuted back in 1988. I remember The Wonder Years debut like it was yesterday.
My mom was fast asleep, after becoming bored by the Redskins’ easy victory over
the Broncos in Super Bowl XXII. Following the Super Bowl, ABC aired the first episode
of The Wonder Years. I shared the experience of this debut alone with my dad and
we were absolutely mesmerized by the show.

20May/106

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Paula Abdul


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul












7—Paula Abdul (pop star): When Paula Abdul appeared on my MTV in the late
80’s, I thought she was crazy hot, but I didn’t develop a crush until later on.
One day, some of my buddies and I were at my house swimming in the pool and shooting
the shit about hot singers. I probably threw out names like Debbie Gibson, Gloria
Estefan, and some random chick from The Jets or The Bangles, but I really had no
go-to singer in my arsenal for such debates. My suggestions were laughed at, derided,
and rejected outright. They saw my Debbie Gibson and raised me a Paula Abdul. The
word from my boys was that Paula was the hottest woman on the planet. Ever! I gave
it some thought, bowed to the peer pressure, and readily accepted their logic. That
short-lived debate was all it took. I saw the "Opposites Attract" video later that
day in a whole new light. My crush on her went, uh, Straight Up! Lame pun. Horrible
attempt, I know. I know. I’m not gifted in the art of Punry, but I had to try.

19May/106

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Robin Wright


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul












8—Robin Wright (The Princess Bride, Forest Gump): As a kid, one of my favorite
things in the world was going to Rent-A-Movie and hunting for videotapes to watch
later that night with my parents. One night, my dad picked out a movie called
The
Princess Bride
. I don’t remember what movie I picked out that night, but that’s
really the whole point—it doesn’t matter. The Princess Bride blew me away. I had
never seen anything like it before or since (although the first Pirates of the Caribbean
comes close). The Princess Bride had Andre the Giant, a beautiful princess, Kevin
Arnold, dread pirates, epic sword fights, great jokes, six-fingered villains, and
giant man-eating rats. I was in heaven. It immediately became my favorite movie;
it still remains one of my all-time favorites to this day (check out the even better
novel by William Goldman).

So, who was this princess in The Princess Bride? The stunning Buttercup played by
Robin Wright . Buttercup is the most beautiful woman in all Florin—the kingdom
where she lives—but she is a mere peasant. Upon discovering this beauty, Prince
Humperdinck chooses Buttercup to be his bride. Her long lost lover, Westley, returns
as the Dread Pirate Roberts. In the course of saving Buttercup from kidnappings,
fire-swamps, and a forced marriage, Westley fights, fences, outwits, gets tortured,
mostly dies, swallows a chocolate covered miracle pill, wakes up mostly paralyzed,
and then fights some more. I completely bought into it and fell in love with her,
too.

18May/107

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Christina Applegate


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul












9—Christina Applegate (Married With Children, Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s
Dead
)
: There wasn’t a boy in my 6th grade class that wasn’t totally
in love with Kelly Bundy from Married With Children. Kelly was so completely,
hopelessly, dumb that it only magnified her hotness exponentially. At the time,
ditzy was cool. All the cool girls in our class were like “I duh-no-o-o-o-o.” We
were enamored with airheaded chicks who hairsprayed their way through life—and Kelly
Bundy was the Queen of Vacuous, the Fair Maiden of Aqua-Net. Somehow I don’t think
Kelly Bundy would work today. Ditzy just isn’t hot anymore—or maybe it still is
and I am just getting old and grumpy.

When Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead debuted 1991, my friends and I
were immediately hooked by the trailer. Christina Applegate was there in all her
glorious, early 90’s, fan-haired, shoulderpad wearing hotness. To seal the deal they
threw in one funny ass headbanger who shoots the dishes when he’s asked to finish
them. “Dishes are done, man! eHeh heh heh ehe” That trailer had us totally captivated
and there was nothing that would stop us from seeing it on opening night.

17May/107

Top 10 Biggest Celebrity Crushes From My Childhood: Jennifer Connelly


#10 - Jennifer Connelly

#9 - Christina Applegate

#8 - Robin Wright

#7 - Paula Abdul












It’s no coincidence that many of my favorite movies and television shows from my childhood feature women that I was head-over-heels infatuated with. As much as I enjoyed watching Daniel-san drum punch Chozen’s ass into the pavement (and likewise despised him for just honking Chozen's nose instead of finishing him), I loved seeing the drop dead gorgeous Kumiko fawn all over our hero. Every time I watched Karate Kid II, which was easily over a hundred times, I fell completely in love with Kumiko again and again. I was smitten. And this same scenario repeated itself with many girls, in many shows, throughout my childhood. These crushes were all a complete secret to my parents who thought I just loved watching movies over and over again because I was weird. Well, there’s that, too.