This has been a long time coming. Get Smart easily cemented Anne Hathaway’s #1 slot. This was a blowout victory for #1 and it almost never happened. The Princess Diaries and Anne’s other early films annoyed me such that I swore a blood oath to hate her guts for all eternity. Then I saw more recent movies such as Havoc where she was steaming hot. Still, I absolutely refused to consider her for the list. But I felt my defenses wearing down. Get Smart chilled my fiery hatred for her once and for all. Hey, forgiveness is divine! Yeah, the hottest scene in Get Smart is a complete rip off of Entrapment—only Anne Hathaway rocks the cat-suit and slinks through lasers a billion times more sexily than Catherine Zeta-Jones could ever dream. Welcome to #1 Anne. Make yourself comfortable; you might be here awhile.

The much debated Yvonne StraHOTski. Some folks still maintain that she is not only not hot, but butt ugly. These blind, mental midgets just need to lose the stubbornness and face the facts: Yvonne is absolutely hot and she’s here to stay. She is singlehandedly keeping the NBC series, Chuck, from cancellation. Well, that and the fact that the show is consistently one of the funniest on television. Check it out some time and give Chuck and Yvonne some much-deserved love.

I’ve had Pride and Prejudice sitting on my DVD shelf for well over a year now—probably much longer. Unopened. Keira Knightley always factors into my decision-making process for the #1 slot. The deciding factor? If Anne Hathaway was in Pride and Prejudice, I would have been compelled to watch it by now. Did you know that Ms. Knighley’s first movie role was as the “decoy queen” in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace? Natalie Portman’s decoy—such a humble beginning.

Arianny has officially surpassed Rachelle Leah in the hotness quotient. That’s no small feat considering Rachelle was one of the top rated GOTD’s of all time and has made my Top 10 list on numerous occasions. Dana White, please don’t ruin Arianny like you did Rachelle. I can’t even tell what happened to Rachelle since we never even see her anymore. Is she even still with the UFC? It’s a pity that I have no idea. There are three current card girls for the UFC that I can think of. Two are fairly hideous and have softballs implanted in their chests. Arianny is the hottest UFC card girl ever. Yes, I am including Rachelle Leah in that statement.

We saw her live and in-person at a recent MegaCon in Orlando, FL. It cost $20 to get her autograph and there was a dude hawking her 8×10 for $5. So, for a total of $25 you gained privilege of standing in line for two hours to talk to Tricia Helfer for maybe ten seconds, get a signed photo, and possibly have a picture taken with her. Completely and totally worth it! Except Mrs. Zenestex gave me a look that said I can expect to find my shit out in the street if even considered standing in that line. Needless to say, I came home autographless.

Olivia Munn alone makes G4′s Attack of the Show worth watching. She is really a breath of fresh air when it comes to hot celebrities. Not only is she sexy, but she doesn’t take herself seriously at all. Watch an episode of Attack of the Show–she’s hilarious! A typical episode may have her competing in a whole wiener eating contest, boody-dancing, making crotch jokes, and dressing up in dork-dream outfits such as Princess Leia, Wonder Woman, and Sailor Moon. Need I say more? I certainly hope G4 is grooming a replacement because smart money says she is way too big for Attack of the Show. If she ever leaves, I can guarantee Ms. Munn takes half the audience with her unless they replace her with someone at least as hot. Difficult? Sure, but the UFC pulled it off with Arianny—miracles can happen, but don’t count on it G4.

The always lovely Grace Park! This is the second chick from Battlestar Galactica to make the list. Stephanie Jacobsen almost made this list as well for the Battlestar Galactica hat-trick. Oh Battlestar, you will be sorely missed by this writer. That show had one of the best conclusions of all time; it’s nice to see a show end on its own terms rather than get cancelled on a huge cliffhanger ala Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. A big Fuck You Very Much to Fox for that one. I don’t know what Grace Park is going to do now. I just hope it’s something I like. Removing her from this list will be very painful.

How in the hell does E from Entourage land this chick? I just lose all suspension of disbelief any time I see her with that hobbit. I don’t care what kind of car he drives or who his buddies are. It makes no sense. I know, I know. “It’s fiction, Bobby! Not real! You read books about about ‘flying dragons and sword wielding wenches’ and this is what makes you suspend disbelief?” Well, since you put it that way. Yes!

Kudos to Jessica Alba for the ridiculously fast weight loss following her pregnancy. It was almost too fast–bordering on obsessive. Look Ms. Alba, it’s okay to be fat after you’re pregnant. You should revel in your obesity while you have a good excuse to. But that’s picking nits, really. She works her ass off to look like she does. She’s still Top 10. Easily.

The Real World alumnus turned movie actress. I don’t watch the Real World, so I had no clue who the hot chick in Dragonball Evolution was. All I knew is that I watched it just to see Emmy Rossum do some karate and Jamie Chung made me totally forget that Ms. Rossum was even in the flick. Jamie Chung also starred in Samurai Girl, a mini-series that aired on ABC Family. Out-hotting Emmy Rossum is more than enough to warrant a Top 10 slot. It also made me throw Ms. Rossum back into the honorable mention pile instead of in the Top 10 as I had planned. It’s a no-holds-barred brawl for the Top 10 here on Zenestex.com, ladies and gentlemen. Well done, Ms. Chung.

Which brings us to the most recent BTW who is now a Top 20 Hottest Chicks listee. You may think, “Awww, she’s just the token redhead.” Au contraire, mon frère! She’s the token Michelle. Every good list needs a Michelle. If for no other reason than to get you singing the Beatles song “Michelle” in your head when you’re trying to think of something to write. “Michelle, ma belle. Sont des mots qui vont trés bien ensemble. Trés bien ensemble. I love you, I love you, I love you. That’s all I want to say.”

It doesn’t feel right putting somebody born in 1988 on this list. I’m just getting old, I suppose. It turns out that being born in 1988 makes you 21 years-old. Holy crap! This begs the question: Should the list age with me? Or should I be the dirty old man? I vote for the latter. I considered Ms. Hudgens for GOTD back in the day, but I had a strict no GOTD’s under 21 policy (same goes for BTW). However, no such rule exists for the Top Hottest Celebrity Chicks list. Besides, she’s close enough to 21. Right, officer?

Gotta include the local girl. Speaking of jailbait, here is the original under 21 rulebuster for my list. When I originally posted Barbie Blank on my Top 10 list in 2006, she was the ripe old age of 19. Hey, if the WWE can have her stripping to the bare chest on national TV, then I’m justified in putting her on the Hottest Chicks List.

Gina has had a rough 2009. First EliteXC couldn’t compete with the UFC and folded. Then American Gladiators got cancelled. My summers won’t be the same without Gina beating the shit out of skinny little chicks without breaking a sweat. All my favorite shows are dying. Why do the TV gods punish me? Why?!

Slumdog Millionaire was a huge surprise movie for me. Some buddies and I decided to go see this movie just for something to do one night. I had never even heard of it and left the movie completely blown away. It’s nice to be surprised like that. The chick in that movie that caused the dude to go through all that nonsense? Freida Pinto. Welcome to the list, Ms. Pinto. Now let’s see how you follow that up.

I have to admit, I’m not a fan of her music. At all. Even on American Idol, I was rooting against her. That doesn’t change the fact that she is 8^th Level of Hell Hot. When she was all “My Hump, My Hump” on American Idol, she was a lot hotter than she is right now. Ms. McPhee, you are maybe 5 pounds away from being just another hot brunette celebrity chick. Eat some Cold Stone, throw down some brew, mix in a pizza. It’s a shame to see such a gift go to waste. We want the lovely lady lumps back!

No list worth its weight in gold can be without Scarlett Johansson. I think that last sentence means this list is worthless since it weighs nothing. Or at least close to nothing. I suppose it only weighs whatever a few electrons weigh. Ms. Johansson is just the poster-child for “classical beauty.” She’s a total throwback who looks like a golden-age Hollywood starlet.

MILF! MILF! MILF! Born in 1964, Monica Bellucci is still an absolute head-turner. I am showing her some love here since any time I see her name or hear something mentioned about her, I pay attention. Always hot!

This slot almost went to Stephanie Jacobsen. But when Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles got cancelled, so did Ms. Jacobsen’s Top 20 slot. In her place is Eliza Dushku from the show that should’ve gotten canned: Dollhouse. I know this is sounds pretty spiteful up to this point, but it’s not out of defeat that she’s on the list. Ms. Dushku is one of those chicks that has been on the cusp of being here for quite some time. This just gave me a reason.

A pure model made the Top Hottest Celebrity Chicks list?! Run for the hills! The end is nigh! I don’t typically find models, such as any of the Victoria’s Secret models, to be list-worthy. Ms. Nemcová is an exception. Security Gawd’s last Top 20 list and Zia’s GOTD entry brought her to my attention and she hasn’t left since.