Romulan Ale: The Review

A frosty bottle of Romulan Ale

Before our trip to Vegas this past summer, I heard that the Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton has some cool rides. Since I'm a complete whore for theme parks rides, we decided to spend a few hours there one afternoon. Now, let me preface this review by saying that I am not a Trekkie. Sure, I'll sit down and enjoy some Trek every now and then, but I also think Enterprise is the best Trek TV show, while the Original 60's series just plain sucks. That fact alone makes me an outcast in Trekkie circles, which is actually quite sad when you think about it.

I initially balked at the $39 admission to the Trek Experience. In hindsight, after spending three times that for tickets to several shows and $2.25 for a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper, the price of admission was a relative bargain. The Star Trek Experience consists of two rides, a museum, and a kick ass bar and grill called Quark's. For those that don't know, Quark is a character in of the Trek shows who, oddly enough, runs a bar on the space ship. After going through the museum, which sucks, and a ride, which is awesome, you are herded into a gift shop that contains every item created since the dawn of man that is even remotely related to Star Trek.

Following the gift shop you are given the option of having some food and drink at Quark's or going back through the Experience for the second ride. We decided on Quark's. Even a month later, I'm completely shocked by how much I enjoyed Quark's. The whole atmosphere the bar creates is just plain fun. It is like sitting in on a Star Trek episode with the themed food and actors roaming the premises dressed as Vulcans and Klingons. I was tempted to get the Romulan Ale right then and there, but we had a coupon for a free Warp Core, so my wife and I decided to get those instead and buy a six pack of Romulan Ale for the road.

Warp Core: the drink of the gods

Warp Cores are made using five different rums, Razzmatazz, some sort of berry juice, and dry ice for bubbling and smoke effects. After spending any time in the Vegas summer heat, there is nothing like an alcoholic beverage chilled with frozen carbon dioxide to cool you down. The Warp Core is the best mixed drink I have ever had. And it's not even close. If anyone can find out where in the hell to get some dry ice, I've got the recipe and the rums. We'll drink.

Moving on to the review, about a month after our Vegas trip we finally decided to pop open some of that Romulan Brew we spent $14 on. Romulan Ale is a blue beer based on the drink from some of the Star Trek shows. The beer itself smells similar to a Corona, which means it smells like ass. Glancing at the smurf hued ale, you might think that it tastes like blueberries, Artic Freeze Gatorade, Windex, or maybe even remotely like beer. Nope, Romulan Ale tastes like blue fucking piss. You want the recipe for Romulan Ale? Drink 8 ounces of blue food coloring, 16 ounces of water, and piss into a glass. Serve chilled.

If you ever find yourself in Quark's remember that Romulan Ale is only for diehard Trekkies and Urophiliacs. All other carbon based life forms should stick to the Warp Cores.

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